Think I will start a new blog – a blog about motherhood – I finished Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” last night when I was waken up by el ninja for his night-time feeding. Since I couldn’t fall back to sleep, I finished the rest of the book. A lot of the themes echoed my own childhood upbringing as a “tiger cub”, a first-generation Asian growing up in Canada; however, I do think that she is too extreme – I don’t believe that even the “real” chinese (I would say that she’s a “pseudo” chinese as an ABC “American-born-Chinese”) is that strict and inhumane, certainly that the modern Chinese (Chinese in China, Taiwan, Singapore, Hong Kong) nowadays who basically pamper and spoil their kids to death with so-called “western parenting”.
There are things I do agree with her when it comes to discipline and forming the character:
“What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it. Tog et good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences…Tenacious practice, practice, practice, is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something…he or she gets praise, admiration, and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun.”
I have a 3-month-old tiger cub, el ninja, who happened to be born in the tiger year. If we would have waited until he is full-term of 40 weeks, he would have been a rabbit.
I wonder what is going to be my parenting style – chinese parenting? Western parenting? What about latin parenting? (I am not even sure what is the stereotype of latin parenting?) I just know that ever since he was born, I pray for god everyday that he is happy and healthy (that’s one of the reasons that his chinese name is De Le – receiving happiness) – it somewhat coincided with Amy’s dreams for Coco (her dog), funny enough, she compared dog raising with Chinese parenting –
“Dog raising is easy. It requires patience, love, and possibly an initial investment of training time. By contrast, Chinese parenting is on the most difficult thing I can think of. You have to be hated sometimes by someone you love and who hopefully loves you ,and there’s just no letting up no point at which it suddenly becomes easy.”
Perhaps this is it – combining dog raising with chinese parenting – love and patience are the fundamental (always needed) while disciplines and perseverance are needing to be added along the way to form a child’s character. Perhaps it is like everything else in life, which I believe in deeply, balance – finding the balance – the balance between the stereotypical chinese parenting and “western” parenting, And perhaps the different parenting will be used for different stages and times. and when it is time, knowing how to let go and let the kids “parent” themselves – making their own decisions and exercising their own judgment.
Not sure what kind of parent I am going to become, but I know that I want my little cub to live up his name all his life.
So there you go, the mamatigre (tiger mom) blog just got started.
(mamá tigre y bebé tigre)
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