Hipo

El ninja is big on hiccups, ever since he was in the uterus. I remembered having these steady and rhythmic beats from my belly when I was 7-8 months pregnant. At first I thought it was his heart beat but it could not be because it was not possible to feel the baby’s heart beat from outside. Then after consulting my “bible”, it was confirmed that these beats were my ninja having hiccups. How cute!

And he continued having hiccups after he was born. My mother in-law was especially concerned. Whenever he has hiccups, she goes away and brings back a piece of wet napkin and puts it on his forehead. Apparently, it is the “Venezuelan” technique on getting rid of hiccups. Interesting, no? Funny enough that it actually works at times.

(seems that el ninja is not too happy about the venezuelan technique, with his eyebrows knitted)

Drooling, dribbling, slobbering

The bibs are wet every 2 hours. Drooling, dribbling, slobbering, whatever you call it, he’s been doing it A LOT. Part of his teething in progress. I figure out the trick – alternating 2-3 bibs a day – changing one for another and drying the wet one to be used the next time instead of throwing it to the washing machine right away.

In search of breasts

El ninja is officially 4-month-old today. He has learned how to manipulate already.

Around a week or so ago, he started “rejecting” bottles. He starts the whining and crying when I put the bottle into his mouth. And he wouldn’t stop until the I surrendered and gave him the breasts. Yet, no one (the nana, my in-laws, or my papi) has had problem feeding el ninja with the bottle. ONLY me! And only when I am around. Why? Cuz the kid has grown up and known how to manipulate when mummy is around. He knows – he knows the smells, he knows that he can get breasts with mummy, he knows to behave when he is with others, he knows…

The funniest scene is when el ninja turns his head towards the chest of whoever is holding him and suckles towards the nipples while being held in the arms. Amazing, the power of basic instinct.

Ninja turtle gym

El ninja is somewhat a precocious kid – smiled when he was 2-month old; lifted his head 90 degrees when he was 2-and-half-month; my father in-law said he’s going to be a smart kid because he is very agile. He is constantly moving his arms and legs. To satisfy his physical needs, I bought el ninja a turtle gym. He loves it and now plays with it on his own. Kicking, boxing, staring, or even talking to the toys.


(ninja turtle gym)

Ninja schedule

The nice surprise of 8 ½-hour sleep that el ninja gave me on the mother’s day was in fact an one-off thingy. Yet, he has slept longer now, almost through the night (on average 5-6 hours), which I am pretty content. Here’s more or less el ninja’s daily routine:

6:00 a.m. to 6:30 a.m.: He wakes up with a HUGE smile, “I want to play!” I hold him for a bit or the nana (if she is around) takes him out of the crib to start the day. He is definitely a morning person, coming from my side of family or his grandpa (definitely not from his dad or grandma, who usually takes 45 minutes to get up to speed in the morning and coffee is the requirement).

6:30 a.m. to 8:30 a.m.: I get ready for the day and play with him at the same time - read him a story (or a few), put him to work out by himself in the turtle-gym, and we look in the mirror and smile. I either have BBC or Discovery Kid on so he looks while working out. Then I make him a formula and he passes out for a nap.

9:30 a.m.: He wakes up from the nap. And if I am around, I take him with me for errands – he loves going out – always observing and looking at people and almost always he passes out while being carried in the kagaroo. If the nana is here, it usually involves more gym time and tummy time and lots of “paseos” around home.

12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m.: Another “tete” and he goes for another short nap.

2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.: More play time for el ninja – yet, this is the time when I usually feel the sleepiest. He normally has his first pupu of the day – time to wash his culito as well.

5:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m.: He wants to eat and then we play again – whichever he feels like – stories, kick-boxing, or tummy time - just to delay his bedtime (to reach my goal: 9 pm)

7:30 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.: Bath time!!! One of el ninja’s favorite activities now – he enjoys being in the water and doing his aquacise. Now he’s all clean with fresh PJ – ready to go to bed. With a huge bottle mixed with formula and cereal and classic music in the background, el ninja is winding down after a long tiring day. The “energizer tiger” soon runs out of the batteries.

2:00 a.m. – 3:00 a.m.: He wakes up and eats. This is the most difficult hour for my papi and I. Most of the time, mami does the duty.

5:00 a.m.: The previous feeding doesn’t usually last long because he is half-asleep. He normally passes out whiling eating and never finishes the bottle. So by this early morning hour, he is awake. I feed him with my teta and he falls back to sleep again.

As much as I want to be a “tiger mom”, el ninja’s schedule is not rigid at all, except for the bed time routines. Simply because it is too difficult to keep a rigid schedule with work and impossible to “educate” a nana who is in her sixties and has raised my papi and now raising my ninja.

(el ninja with his nana)

Tuto

Cam (el ninja’s one-year-old cousin) has a “tuto”, a towel-like pillow used by most Chilean babies to fall asleep. Apparently it is a very Chilean thing (Cam was born in Chile). "Tuto" works somewhat like Linus’ blue blanket, which he cannot live without and needs to go to everywhere. Cam only sleeps with her tuto and she sleeps like a “baby” with her tuto on top of her face. Funny, no?

So it made me wonder about "tuto", which actually has an official name in the clinical studies - “Transitional Object” - it can be a towel, a blanket, a bottle, or a stuffed animal as long as it is soft and provides comfort. Is it bad for a kid’s emotional health to be so attached to a security object? Is it a sign of unhealthy insecurity?

The answers are pretty clear all over the internet and my bible (the "What to Expect" series):

Between the ages of 6 months and 1 year, babies begin to enjoy the freedom that their increasing mobility brings. At the same time, they start to experience separation anxiety over this newfound independence, so they begin to crave comfort. Babies in this age range are also beginning to realize that they are individuals separate from their parents. In an effort to ease these anxieties, many children try to bridge the gap by latching on to transitional items -- "comfort objects" or "loveys," such as stuffed animals or blankets. This love affair often lasts through toddlerhood.

Not only are these objects a sign of healthy development, but they serve a valuable purpose. Comfort items are helpful in any situation where a child feels anxiety or stress. When your child is separated from you -- at day care, or for that first sleepover at Grandma's, for example -- it allows him to take along a little piece of home that reminds him of Mommy or Daddy.

- excerpts from “Parents.com – Baby’s Transitional Objects”

So the transitional object is actually sign of autonomy for babies. I suppose my ninja is ought to have a “tuto” in the near future (when he decides to stop using mami's teta as comfort) – which one will he choose? His favorite froggy, Napo, or just a blanket like what Linus has? We’ll see!

(a typical "tuto")

Napo

Napo (Napoleon), was papi’s first pet when he was little, a basset hound. Perhaps it is because that I have never had a pet my whole life, I have always thought of a pet as “just another animal”, and never really thought of it as a member of the family or even a “human being”.

Papi, on the contrary, is a pet person. Don’t remember how many times he’s mentioned about having a dog in the apartment. With the constraint of living space and the new born, I so far could get away with not having one.

The other day, papi saw this adorable basset hound stuff toy while shopping and he bought it home. He named him Napo, and Napo is now the “guardian angel” of el ninja. And el ninja likes it and loves staring at it. So this raises the million dollar question again: shall we have a pet? This is my take: it sounds like work, work for mom, who is actually going to take care of the pet. It’s like having another baby – as if having one baby is not enough.

Yet, all the studies seem to be pro-pet for kids, the major reason, they ask for very little attention but give unconditional love to their owners, which also helps the kids’ self-esteem. Companionship, development for caring, sense of security, and social bonds – just to name a few benefits of having a pet.

Think as much as I am NOT a pet person, this is going to be losing battle.

Happy Mother's Day!

It’s a miracle! El ninja slept for 8 ½ hours last night, it is the longest record so far! When I woke up this morning, I couldn’t believe my eyes – 5:10am. Wow! He must have secretly heard my complaint about his sleeping patterns and night-time feedings and decided to give me the BEST mother’s day present ever– What a smart kid! Just hope that this nice surprise lasts! Fingers crossed!

In love

I couldn’t get his face out of my mind with Bruno Mars’ song echoing in my head:

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

I am in love, in love with a man.

When he smiles, he lights up my day. When he cries, I feel the pain in my heart. When he is happy, I am happy too. And I can stare at him forever, awake or asleep.

It must have been how Bruno Mars felt when he wrote the song, in love.

(the wee man I am in love with)

Who's in control?

There’s 3 kilos that I couldn’t lose – so frustrating! It’s been 3 months now since the birth of el ninja, and I still don’t seem to establish a work-out routine. Always tired and exhausted from the night-feeding, I just couldn’t get myself motivated to spare 30-min a day for a post-natal yoga session. Worst of all, none of my pants fit me – I basically have these 3 sets of clothes I alternate from one day to anoterh – bad for my look but good for my laundry machine.

Then I remembered what a friend told me when I was 8-month pregnant, while I was complaining about how tiring it was to carry a ball around and I wanted it out already. “Well, at least it is manageable, it is inside your body, you can do whatever you want, just need to do it with it. It will be a different story when it comes out, believe me!” Yup, I believe you. Remembered that I used to have my yoga routine at 7:30am, it was not easy to do with it with a belly but like what my friend said, it was manageable.

Now MY time is no long mine. My closet is no long mine. OUR room is no longer ours (this will change in a month when we move el ninja to the nursery). My kitchen is no long mine, as it is now packed with sterilizer, formulas, and bottles, and nipples. Thank god that at least the TV and remote control are still mine (for now).

I am no longer in control. The prince (el principe, as how my “political family” calls him) is in control and we are all indeed at his service.

p.s. political family – I love the word in Spanish for “in-laws”, familía política, perfectly describes the relationship at times ☺

Traffic light syndrome

El ninja is a social kid, he likes guests and always behaves when we have people over. He also likes to go out – he is always in a good mood when we take him out, and he almost always passes out in the stroller or kangaroo. But nothing tops his favorite soother – car rides. He whines when we put him in the car seat, yet, as soon as the car starts moving, the whining goes away almost immediately. And in no time, he is sound asleep. How sweet! As if he had some kind of sensor of movement, as soon as the car stops for the red light, he wakes up and starts whining again. Funny, no? Not sure if there is a paediatric term for it, but I call it “traffic light syndrome”.

(el ninja passed out for three hours straight on the way to Las Peñas)

What am i? Blame it on globalization

It has been 7 minutes since I have tried to get a taxi by the curb. I swear to God, I watched at least 10 taxis went by picking up others, except for me, why? Cuz I was PISSED – crossed by the people in this country – they just barged in and without considering who was there first, some of them were even worse, walking about 4m up to “hijack” a taxi instead of waiting for it in the designated area. A woman with a kid came up, of course, again, she “hijacked” my taxi. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, “Estoy aquí primera.” “No, estoy aquí primera, estoy con la niña.” I was so mad about her lie but at the same time I was like “forget it”, so I let them get in. While them entering the taxi, I burst out, “coño, los ecuatorianos!” (For the record, I am normally extremely delicate and politically-correct on such issue, and would never made such comment.) Not sure if they heard me.

Just one of those things I couldn’t stand about this country – people taking advantage of “civilized” folks. Just because we don’t fight, doesn’t mean we don’t care. However, this raises a more important question in el ninja’s life – what am I? He was born here, very likely going to spend this childhood here, which makes him the only Ecuadorian in the family. How is he going to feel while his dad and I start bashing the “his people”? How are we going to explain to him? We (as foreigners) can get away with all the criticism since we are not “one of them”. But how are we suppose to educate el ninja so that he does not grow up with prejudice against others and racism against his fellow countrymen (which is something extremely prevailing in this racial-diverse country).

I guess that we will just have to play it as we go – he is always going to be an ecuatoriano with very unstereotypical upbringing – he’s going to eat tortilla españolas o mapo tofu instead of churrasco or menestra for lunch; he’s going to like jamon Serrano more than fritada; he’s probably going to learn how to use chopsticks before using knife-and-fork. Who knows, no matter what he is, he is going to be different – neither 100% latino, nor 100% asian, nor 100% Canadian, nor 100% Spanish, let alone Catalan. He’s going to be a-little-bit-of-everything (and will have to live with the ambiguity) and hopefully emerges his own identity.

So sorry kid, don’t blame us for making it so complicated, blame it on globalization.

(being a 4th-generation culé is probably the only thing Catalan about el ninja)

Tiger mom?

I am bored, sitting in front of TV and surfing the net – have checked my gmail account, facebook, twitter and BBC about Bin Laden’s death for the hundredth time now..I should do something.

Think I will start a new blog – a blog about motherhood – I finished Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” last night when I was waken up by el ninja for his night-time feeding. Since I couldn’t fall back to sleep, I finished the rest of the book. A lot of the themes echoed my own childhood upbringing as a “tiger cub”, a first-generation Asian growing up in Canada; however, I do think that she is too extreme – I don’t believe that even the “real” chinese (I would say that she’s a “pseudo” chinese as an ABC “American-born-Chinese”) is that strict and inhumane, certainly that the modern Chinese (Chinese in China, Taiwan, Singapore, Hong Kong) nowadays who basically pamper and spoil their kids to death with so-called “western parenting”.

There are things I do agree with her when it comes to discipline and forming the character:

“What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it. Tog et good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences…Tenacious practice, practice, practice, is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something…he or she gets praise, admiration, and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun.”

I have a 3-month-old tiger cub, el ninja, who happened to be born in the tiger year. If we would have waited until he is full-term of 40 weeks, he would have been a rabbit.

I wonder what is going to be my parenting style – chinese parenting? Western parenting? What about latin parenting? (I am not even sure what is the stereotype of latin parenting?) I just know that ever since he was born, I pray for god everyday that he is happy and healthy (that’s one of the reasons that his chinese name is De Le – receiving happiness) – it somewhat coincided with Amy’s dreams for Coco (her dog), funny enough, she compared dog raising with Chinese parenting –

“Dog raising is easy. It requires patience, love, and possibly an initial investment of training time. By contrast, Chinese parenting is on the most difficult thing I can think of. You have to be hated sometimes by someone you love and who hopefully loves you ,and there’s just no letting up no point at which it suddenly becomes easy.”

Perhaps this is it – combining dog raising with chinese parenting – love and patience are the fundamental (always needed) while disciplines and perseverance are needing to be added along the way to form a child’s character. Perhaps it is like everything else in life, which I believe in deeply, balance – finding the balance – the balance between the stereotypical chinese parenting and “western” parenting, And perhaps the different parenting will be used for different stages and times. and when it is time, knowing how to let go and let the kids “parent” themselves – making their own decisions and exercising their own judgment.

Not sure what kind of parent I am going to become, but I know that I want my little cub to live up his name all his life.

So there you go, the mamatigre (tiger mom) blog just got started.

(mamá tigre y bebé tigre)